Pineapple Express

Not enough action or comedy. Not bad, not good. Blues Brothers still stands as the best action comedy. Unless someone suggests something better...

Update: Finished watching, and can't get over how dull this flick was. Disappointing.

Onlookers

The crash of US Airways flight 1549 is a few weeks behind us, but no less bizarre. To think that a few birds can bring down an entire jet...guess we're less advanced than I thought.

After rehearsal one afternoon, I decided to walk down to the crash site.


Onlookers from Matthew Patches on Vimeo.

The Art of Dance

I've grown to enjoy dance as an art, and wish I had a chance to get out and see more. Especially in New York, where there's an abundance of performance going on every single night.

Unfortunately, this is not good dance.

This is Plante Dance.


Dance: An Interpretation by Christopher Plante from Matthew Patches on Vimeo.

Twins

Sometimes I wish I were a twin.

Oscar Bait Round-Up: The Reader

Suddenly this blog is becoming very movie heavy, which wasn't my plan, but it may have something to do with the fact that I'm sick, have seen a heap of movies, and haven't been able to get out and do anything else of note (I'll talk about my play later).

Anywho, had to post on The Reader, since this morning's events have me all shaken up.



The Reader got a Best Pic nom this morning. I almost took my rating down to 2/5, because dammit, they're wrong. It's "ok", but in light of other films (um, WALL-E and, fine, even Dark Knight I guess) it shouldn't be on the list. Hollywood political gobblygook.

I loved Daldry's The Hours, but this movie is yawnerskates. Former Nazi has sex with Young Adult and makes him read to her. Ok, great. I love you Winslet, but I couldn't get past your unsightly armpit air in this movie (although maybe she deserves some cred for growing it).

See Revolutionary Road.

Oscar Bait Round-Up: The Wrestler

Before seeing this flick, I decided to pick up the song Bruce Springsteen wrote for the end credits, also titled The Wrestler. Not sure if that was a mistake, but it's sappy and wonderful, which means I may have been predisposed to getting swept up by this simple story of a down-and-out professional wrestler. If you can let go of your cynicism for an hour and a half, Mickey Rourke's Randy "The Ram" will make you teary. I find wrestling to be particularly uninteresting, but damned if I don't have some respect for it now. Theatrics come at a physical cost, to say the least.

I wanted to criticize Marisa Tomei for always letting her boobs out and not deserving her Oscar, but hell I can't like, she's wonderful in this movie. The Evan Rachel Wood as The Ram's daughter might be a tad too schmaltzy, but by that time, I was on board.

Refreshingly realistic.

FDR Inauguration Speech

The Only Way to Drive

Whenever I have a car in New York, I feel like the shiznit. It's a power symbol. I'm a total gangsta.


Big Pimpin' NYC from Matthew Patches on Vimeo.

Awwwwwwww hell yeah.

Oscar Bait Round-Up: Doubt

Another instance where I'm only familiar with the source material through articles, friends, and living in New York. I had very high expectations for John Patrick Shanley's Doubt, based on his theatrical magnum opus by the same name, for a number of reasons:

1. It's based on (supposedly) great play.
2. Philip Seymour Hoffman
3. Amy Adams
4. Meryl Streep
5. New York
6. Pedophilia

Unfortunately, I'm not going to be singing the lord's high praises for the flick. It takes a particular vision to elevate a play into a movie, and I'm not even sure I understand what it takes, but Shanley, who directed his script on this one, doesn't pull it off. It's too simple, in technical and story aspects. I don't need to know if Father Flynn actually touched the kid or not, but I was waiting for the film to take me somewhere.

There is kudos to give: Hoffman, as always, rocks. I know some people who thought he was an asshole, but heck, he chews up his scenes and spits'em out. Can't get enough. Amy Adams...well, I love her, and while she doesn't have a lot to do in this movie, I can't help but give her a pass. You know you're won over when you watch Enchanted and actually think it's not half-bad. Thanks Amy! Viola Davis who plays the boy-in-question's mother rocks in her 7-something-minute stint, and she should win an Oscar. She won't, because Kate is out to undeservedly snatch up the Best Supporting (more on that later).

But Meryl, oh Meryl. You slit this movie's throat with that last scene. I definitely understand the ham it up, Brooklyn accent thing she was going for, but no, didn't do it for me. I would have prefered Devil Wears Prada Meryl. But...as a nun.

I have to give the film credit for leaving it open-ended enough to leave people divded. When the lights came up I thought there was no way in hell people would think Father Flynn actually crossed the line with his student, but lo and behold, I've encountered a handful of people who are just as confident that he did. I think the debate alone is a red flag that something's wrong with us human folk.

Not recommending this movie, but maybe see it to fuel the buzz train. Choo Choo!

A Rubik's Life

A record has been set. A man has finally completed a Rubik's cube that he's been working on for over 26 years. Ring the bells!

I had two immediate reactions:

1. I'm still a contender for this award. I have yet to complete a Rubik's cube, and I no plans to rectify that.

2. What kind of person can complete dedicate himself to something so petty as a Rubik's cube, that he'll put his family, friends, and other passions (this is assuming there were any) completely behind him.


That made me kind of sad. OK, yeah, he took 26 years to do a Rubik's cube, that's really depressing. Or is it? After sitting on it this afternoon, I started becoming...impressed. Let me reiterate, I won't be packing up my life to pursue the completion of time-consuming puzzles, but I can't help but wish I could muster up the commitment to one of my projects, something creative.

I'm in a mopey, bad mood. And articles about Rubik's cubes aren't helping.

Oscar Bait Round-Up: Revolutionary Road

Unlike years past, I'm doing a terrible job of getting out to the theater to familiarize myself with "oscar bait", all these pictures the industry seems to be gobbling up, warranted or not. While I haven't seen everything, thought I'd chime in on some of the big players:

Revolutionary Road




I've never read the novel Revolutionary Road (although I've been told numerous times that I need to), but if it's anything like Director Sam Mendes' chilling cinematic adaptation, getting through the book may involve isolating myself for a weekend, to make sure I don't cross anybody's path in the wake of my emotional aftermath.

And that's how I was feeling to a certain extent after leaving this movie. Emotional (pretentious?). Yes, this isn't the first movie to feature a couple fighting, but this felt like real fighting. I haven't done a ton of actual screaming in my lifetime, and I hope I never have to, because it scares the shit out of me. Kate Winslet just won a Globe for this performance that's entirely (except for those shouting parts) internal. I just wish Leo was feeling some of that love from the public, because, shockingly, he's even better than Winslet. Knocks this one out of the park for me. These two are stars, and I love watching them on screen.

(Thanks to Jordan Hoffman for inspring me to use a image-based rating system. I dig that star fleet insignia!)

Nature Walk

Over New Year's weekend, I went out to Long Island to visit my family (who are amongst the few Philadelphians willing to make the four and a half hour trek up there to vacation). Hiding away in the woods for a few days is always a relaxing time, and when you add to this a gentle snowfall and the sound of crashing waves, well, it's zen bliss. Polar opposite of New York City, which is why I'm glad it's only a train ride away.

One afternoon it started to snow, which I thought would make the perfect opportunity to trespass stroll along the edge of the bay.


Nature Walk on Private Property from Matthew Patches on Vimeo.

(You'll also notice I finally figured out how to upload the videos in HD. Although you'll have to click the link to my Vimeo page to see it. Sweeeet)

Buying Shirts on CNN.com

I was rummaging through articles on the main page of CNN.com, I came across a startling bit of news with the following headline:

"World's oldest person credits bacon."

I'll save you the trouble of watching the video. Gertrude is 114. She's the daughter of former slaves. She voted for Barack Obama and lives in LA. That's the entire thing. Oh, and with the remaining three seconds, they mention that she's eaten a piece of crispy bacon every morning and that's what has kept her alive.

It was with this headline that I noticed CNN.com's most innovative feature. You'll notice every headline has this little t-shirt icon:
By clicking it, you can buy a nice, cotton t-shirt, printed with the selected headline.

If I had money to waste, you know you'd see me strutting my stuff in one of these puppies:

Newsflash: US Postal Service Makes Life-Changing Decision

Today while visiting the local post office, I noticed the disappearance of a certain US Postal Service staple:



That's right. The stamp vending machine...gone.

I was informed by the teller that the vending machine is now a distant memory, replaced by the grueling task of standing in line. According to Postalreporter.com (not a site I find myself visiting often), the initiative to phase out stamp machines began in 2007, and by 2010, all 23,000 units will be phased out. This is all due to cost of maintenance, scarcity of replacement parts and dissatisfaction from people who receive handfuls of Sacajawea dollar coins with their purchases.

It's a sad day for USPS technology, but perhaps someday, an invention will come along that will shape the way customers buy stamps once again...

Does Food Expire?

A pressing question to be sure.

In the center of this debate: a unopened jar of Ragú over a year old. Would you still use it? In one corner, Me. Of course I'd eat use it, the seal hasn't been broken! In the other corner, resident cynic John Skidmore, who believes "Sell By" is the same as "Use By". Oh, c'mon. That's just naive logic!

My parents seem to agree...but to a much more frieghtening extent. Unless it visibly moldly or smells like decomposing skunk, keep it. "That doesn't go bad," they say. Most of the time I'd agree, but then again, who knows what might kill you.

This past weekend, I decided to force the Patches family to confront their problem in a little adventure entitled "Expedition: Kitchen". You can see for yourself what we're dealing with. But in the end, I'd probably east most of what we'd found. Don't judge!


Expedition: Kitchen from Matthew Patches on Vimeo.

Bon Appétit

Welcome to Boring HD

Whether destined to fail or not (aka it will), I've decided to start another blog, if only to post the most mundane of musings and videos. Emphasis on videos. This Christmas I had one item on my wish list: the Flip MinoHD. No bigger than your average cell phone and able to shoot 60 minutes of 720p HD footage, I find myself wanting to shoot anything and everything, just so I can plug the baby in and throw something online. I plan on putting the Flip to good use, shooting what some may call "long photographs". Instead of snapping pictures, I'm taking home videos. Get it? It's slightly different experience I hope to share with those who might be interested (which as you can tell from the title of the blog, I expect to be very very few people).

Here's a short I shot on the way home from Christmas with the family, to give you some idea of where I'm coming from. Enjoy, and if you're actually reading this, come back for more soon!



Train to Home from Matthew Patches on Vimeo.


Love Vimeo by the way. Preferred a zillion times over Youtube.